A Bridge to Break the Cycle

Celebrating 10 Years of the Path to Purpose Program

Early on as Director, I wanted to address the one question that always made me uncomfortable: “What happens to a child after they graduate?” I knew that Show-Me excelled at giving children a solid, stable home life, and did the best we could after graduation, but I wanted to do better. As a housedad for 10 years, I witnessed too many Show-Me kids stumble in adulthood; they would turn to their old support systems — a cycle we worked hard to get them out of — or turn to government support systems — a cycle we didn’t want them to get into. Houseparents, who are a vital link to these kids, didn’t always have the time and resources to help them. We needed to launch an intentional, targeted effort to resolve this weak area and improve our “restoration” results.

— Chad Puckett, Director

The need for a family doesn’t end when you turn 18 years old; it’s a vital foundation for your whole life. A young person should never “age out” of their primary support system – they should “age into” healthy adults through it. In June of 2012, select Show-Me supporters rallied to set aside resources and create a program that would bridge the gap to adulthood for current and former Show-Me children.

A Right-Fit Education and Career

Show-Me alumna, Judi Crawford, immediately accepted the challenge to lead this program as the Path to Purpose Coordinator. “Growing up here, I always had support even after graduation,” stated Judi. “But I knew of other alumni who did not know how to ask for the help they needed. This program was my opportunity to try to change that. My hope is that the relationship we build while they are here continues even after they graduate, so they know they always have a Show-Me family that they can lean on.”

Path to Purpose (P2P) strives to prepare young people for the adult phase of their life and walk with them as they cross that bridge to become stable adults. As they work through the program, they gain the skills, knowledge and insights they need to succeed. Judi works individually with each student to find a career path that fits their personality, capabilities, and goals. Starting in elementary school through hands-on workshops and field trips, students are introduced to economics and the numerous skills each job requires. Students continually dive deeper into their interested fields through job shadows, part-time work, and other career-exploration activities as they progress through P2P.

For Journey, who will graduate in May of 2023 with her Bachelor’s Degree in Graphic Design, her career path became clear after P2P gave her the opportunity to attend a week-long camp introducing her to graphic design. She discovered how her racing ADHD mind and high energy could actually be an advantage rather than a disadvantage. As a web designer and graphics artist, her restless creativity and energy can be utilized in a high-demand job that provides support for her future family.

Navigating Financial Aid

One hurdle most young people face is how to pay for the next level of training. The majority of P2P graduates are able to go to college without having to take out large loans. Due to their unique circumstances, our alumni often qualify for numerous scholarships, grants, and other financial aid if they can accurately present their case. The problem is their unique family situations do not fit into the standard categories for most forms. Before P2P, many Show-Me young people missed opportunities; now, they have a 10-year veteran to help them navigate the process.

“I would have gone clinically insane if wasn’t for Mrs. Judi,” Brendan, class of 2021, stated as he recounted the four weeks of patience and persistence it took to finalize his aid. “But, thanks to her help, I was able to receive a full-ride scholarship and even have some money left over for expenses.”

Tools for the Journey

Knowledge isn’t the only thing they need for this journey. From a reliable vehicle to a laptop for classes, Show-Me has committed to equip our graduates with the necessary tools they need to succeed. As a P2P graduate, they have funds available to help when needs arise: textbooks, unexpected repairs, down payments for housing, help with medications and utilities, continued counseling services, and various emergency situations.

“Nothing really prepares you for that moment when you look at your bank account, which only has $3 in it, and realize you have a lot of bills left to pay,” Dante recounted. The extra help came in especially handy for Dante, class of 2019, when his Precision Machining Technology degree program required over $3,500 of work tools or when his car broke down a week before he was supposed to start his new job.

Leaning on Wise Counsel

Sometimes all the young person needs is a little advice on this new adulting stuff such as taxes, car repair, or legal issues. If Judi doesn’t know the answer herself, she will lean on other members of the Show-Me family. Thomas Chaney, a Show-Me alumni and former car shop manager, inspects, repairs, and tunes up all donated vehicles. Jacob Crawford and the rest of the maintenance staff can fix almost any home problem. Lori Muhr, our Business Manager, can explain financial and tax issues. Elton Fay, a long-time attorney and Show-Me Board Member, has been there to advise on any legal matters.

“I expect all of our kids to work hard through the difficulties that life will continue to throw at them,” stated Director Chad Puckett. “But, just like my parents helped me along the way, when they have a need, I don’t want them turning to other sources for help. I want them to come “home.”

By JayKayCee|2022-07-05T10:48:30-05:00June 21st, 2022|Categories: Child's Story, Children, Path to Purpose|

Thank You Song

Thank You!

Composed and written by Taija, a child growing up at Show-Me Christian Youth Home

I was only two, not knowing what to do
Until you came and helped me through
I didn’t know I wasn’t gonna get to see my parents for a long time
You showed me I can have a family here

You’ve played an important role in my life
Teaching me to do right and let me learn about God
I can never thank you enough for all of your love
Thank you, thank you

Now being a teen isn’t so easy
I mean drama and all of those things
But I know that I have a place to call home
And people to call family

You’ve played an important role in my life
Teaching me to do right and let me learn about God
I can never thank you enough for all of your love
Thank you, oh thank you

I can never thank you enough or God
God thank you for my life
For being so nice
For sending me more people in my life that love me

You’ve played an important role in my life
Teaching me to do right and let me learn about God
I can never thank you enough for all of your love
Thank you

By Show-Me Update|2022-06-08T10:00:29-05:00June 7th, 2022|Categories: Child's Story, Children, Music, Testimony, Uncategorized|Tags: Song, Thank You|

Winning Life’s Lottery

“Show-Me was like winning the lottery,” Tristian Wieboldt explained.

“Out of the hundreds of kids that apply [to Show-Me], only a few are lucky enough to be chosen. Most people hope for a second chance at life; I was blessed to have a third.”

Blessed is not how Tristian would have described his life five years ago. Cursed is more accurate.

Tristian felt no matter what he did, he would always carry the baggage of the dysfunctional family in which he was born. It ran in his bloodline; he could not escape it. It defined him and limited what he could become. He bore a heavy burden.

Life Deals an Unfair Hand

Even before he took his first breath, life seemed stacked against Tristian. Due to his mother’s addiction, Tristian was born prematurely with cocaine in his system. He never knew his father. Shortly after his birth, his mother handed her newborn boy to her sister, Amy, to watch while she went off to a sobriety meeting. When she could not be reached later, Amy was forced to call the authorities, and Tristian was put into the foster care system.

Amy, who had recently graduated with her master’s degree in social work, did not want Tristian to become a number lost in the system. She knew the impact that a loving, stable, Christian family could make. Even though she had grown up with the same addicted mother as her sister, Amy was able to break the cycle. She received love and guidance from her youth pastor and his wife, who “adopted” her into their family. Fresh out of college and with a baby of their own on the way, Amy and James, her husband, began praying and preparing. A year later, their adopted 17-month-old son, Tristian, arrived in Missouri.

Simple Becomes Complicated

“To us, the decision was simple,” Amy remembered. “He was family. If we could take care of him, we should.” Life for the family would become anything but simple. From the very beginning, Tristian had a hard time fitting in. He did not want to be held or touched. He cried continually.

The tantrums as a toddler evolved into fights. Feeling out of place plagued him every day as he grew up. He may be the oldest of his four siblings, but he was not really a true member of the family. He was adopted. He was different. He couldn’t count on anyone but himself.

Parents or Police

To survive, he put on a mask. On the outside, he would go through the motions to get what he wanted. No one could be trusted to see his inner self. “I feared that if people saw who I really was, they would leave me just like my mother did,” Tristian said. The closer someone tried to get, the more he pushed away. He withdrew into himself. He showed little emotion and had few friends.

Tristian struggled at school and at home. He lacked the ability to focus and had little self-control. He developed a habit of lying and stealing. Problems got worse as he grew older. Jealousy of his siblings turned to bottled anger, which eventually would explode. Discipline at home only seemed to aggravate the situation. The more Tristian found himself in trouble, the more he felt he was being singled out. No matter what words were said, all Tristian heard was “…because you are adopted.”

For over 10 years, the family tried everything they knew to help him including specialized teachers and professional counseling. Nothing seemed to work. “We started to feel more like police than parents,” Amy stated. Finally, when Tristian’s behavior escalated to the point of self-harm and threatened to unravel their whole family, they tried one last option: Show-Me Christian Youth Home.

Lifting Up, Not Giving Up

Tristian’s counselor recommended Show-Me, knowing it would give him the structure, stability, and support he needed. Amy and James struggled to make the best decision for their son. “You feel like you are a failure as parents,” Amy stated. “What will other people say or think?”

As they walked the campus and met the families, they saw that Show-Me offered Tristian the opportunities and a wider community of support he needed, which could not be replicated in their home. Most important, he would still be part of a loving Christian family. “If we kept Tristian at home because of our fears, we were being selfish,” Amy remarked. “This was the best place for him to grow.”

Same Kind of Different

Tristian did not see it that way. He did not want to go to a youth home to live with a bunch of messed up kids that were going to judge him. “Just think of it as basic training,” James, his dad, told him. “Give it a year and let’s see where we are at.” Recognizing he had little choice, 13-year-old Tristian reluctantly agreed. To get home, he could go through the motions, again.

To his surprise, life at Show-Me was better than he thought. He liked his new family. No matter where they came from or what they did, his houseparents treated everyone like their own kid. His Show-Me brothers became his first friends and helped him get into the groove. “They were really accepting and didn’t judge me for my past,” Tristian said. “They were kids just like me.” He wasn’t different. These kids were all adopted into the Show-Me family.

Life outside of the home was better, too. The personalized structure of the classroom helped him focus and improve his grades. The smaller-sized school gave him the opportunity to play sports even as a 6th grader. His coaches and teammates encouraged him and kept him accountable.

Breakthrough on the Court

While the school and home life helped Tristian, his biggest growth occurred on the basketball court. The life lessons conveyed at home were reinforced through sports. Whereas Tristian sometimes resisted his parents’ directions, he craved feedback from his coach. He knew that the only way for him or the team to be the best was to learn to trust each other and work together. Trusting his coach’s way over his own produced better results. Practice wasn’t punishment, it was the path to a better you. Discipline and structure were actually love.

Sports motivated Tristian in ways that punishment never could. He knew his team counted on him. If he failed a test or acted out, he wouldn’t be able to be there for them.

From Thriving to Surviving

By his third year, Tristian seemed to be thriving. He caught up educationally. He matured. His behaviors improved. He had grown in confidence and felt in control of his actions. Things went well with the Wieboldts during home visits and holidays. The family was ready to be back together.

“Show-Me not only helped Tristian, it helped us become a healthier and happy family,” stated Amy. “It gave us all time to regroup, rethink, and learn to make better choices.” In April of 2016, Tristian left Show-Me to reunite with his Wieboldt family.

Unfortunately, the reunion failed. Tristian soon found himself floundering in his new freedom. Without the same structure and accountability, he began to revert to his survival instincts and slipped into his old behaviors.

“We told him that we wanted to have him home and be together, but if he thought Show-Me was the best place for him, then his family would support him,” Amy recounted. The decision would be Tristian’s to make.

Four months after he left, Tristian returned to Show-Me. Determined to embrace the opportunities and not just play the game, he started to genuinely mature as a young man and leader. He gave his life to Christ and was baptized in the summer of 2021. This May, he graduates high school and will pursue a career as an Army Airborne Combat Engineer. He also prays God will use him in some capacity to impact the lives of children in need like he once was.

He no longer sees God as an angry, distant, judgmental ruler who cursed him with a dysfunctional family. God is his heavenly father who loved him so much that He blessed him with multiple families.

By Show-Me Update|2022-06-06T13:54:23-05:00June 2nd, 2022|Categories: Child's Story, Children, Path to Purpose, Testimony|Tags: Growing Up at Show-Me|

Where Love Grows: a Tribute to Karen Culler (1947-2022)

Karen Culler’s legacy is not one of perfection; it is of faithfulness. Through many trials and challenges, she prayed, rolled up her sleeves and went to work – uncertain of God’s plan, but confident in His calling. “I learned to trust God each step of the way…not giving in to asking ‘why,’ but simply keeping on keeping on,” Karen said. “They will see us when we fail and fall short, but if we determine every day, anew, to live according to His standards, it will show that our lives are being transformed.”

Living the American Dream

By the world’s standards, Karen Kohn lived a picturesque, American life. She grew up on a farm near Bethel, Missouri, in a strong Christian family. Through her daily life on the farm, she developed a strong work ethic, the courage to try many things, and a deep personal faith.

A month after her high school graduation, she married her sweetheart, Gale Culler. Both had good jobs and looked forward to a house full of children. In 1967, the couple was blessed with their son, Troy.

Karen and Gale yearned to be used more by God, but without having a formal Bible-college education, doubts crept in and they struggled with what their mission was supposed to be. They kept praying for direction and serving where they were.

A Life Spared for What?

In 1971, Karen’s pressure cooker exploded while she was canning peaches in her kitchen. Her body was severely burned, but her face was spared because her double oven had prevented the lid from flying all the way off. During her long hospitalization, she nearly died from infection. Gale and Karen both felt that God had spared her life and He must have a purpose for doing so.

Was it children? For years the couple tried to grow their family without success. They endured several miscarriages, and after the birth of Troy, they had been told by their doctor that any more children would be unlikely. How could God leave this overwhelming desire on their hearts?

Learning of an adoption option at Cookson Hills, the Cullers took a trip to receive a baby that needed a home and family. At the last moment, the baby’s mother changed her mind and canceled the adoption. The Cullers were heartbroken.

Yet, the journey was not in vain. They were touched by how children were being loved for the Lord through Christian childcare families. The seed had been planted. They knew this was something they could do: take care of and love children. This feeling was confirmed when a friend called telling them about a need for houseparents at a children’s home in East Tennessee. Soon after, the Cullers packed their car and headed south to start what seemed might be a dream come true.

“Love Them for What I Can Make Them”

In Tennessee, the dream quickly became a nightmare. The family ministry they envisioned was more an institutionalized setting. Gale and Karen were house parents for 13 teenage girls, all of whom did not want them there. None of whom seemed to have any desire to change. They did everything they could to get the family to give up and leave. It brought the Cullers to their knees.

“I have never been exposed to anything like this in my life,” Karen cried out to God in anguish. “How can I live with them under my own roof? How can I love them when they are so unlovable?” God’s answer transformed her: “Love them for what I can make them, not for what they are today.”

Gale and Karen came to realize that each of those hurting young people had been through more in their short lifetimes than they could ever imagine. The Cullers’ rules, discipline, and even fortitude would not tear down the walls that the girls had put up to protect themselves. As one girl put it, “I never wanted to love you. Anyone I ever love leaves.” The girls had to choose to lower the walls. By reflecting God’s unconditional love, trust could be formed. With trust, the walls came down, relationships were built, and a family began to bond. Those lessons from Tennessee would prove instrumental in the next step of the Cullers’ journey.

“It’s Got Potential”

Ray Gipson, the Executive Director of Show-Me Christian Youth Home, had for years tried to court the Cullers to come see the Missouri ministry. Finally, on their next vacation, the Cullers visited Show-Me. At first glance, the struggling ministry in La Monte wasn’t much to look at: three facilities that cared for six children, one calf, and a badly built barn. Still, the Cullers both felt with certainty that God was opening another door. Gale phrased it best, “It’s got potential.”

In 1977, they rolled up their sleeves and went to work. In addition to caring for children, Gale oversaw farm operations and Karen did the bookkeeping. Six months later, Show-Me had 18 children in residence and Gale was asked to become the Executive Director.

Their experience in Tennessee had shown them how an institutional setting wouldn’t work as effectively as the rural-family structure in which they had grown up. Working together in a farm setting, the children would be taught a good work ethic, build character, and see God at work in their lives in spite of all the struggles of the past.

From livestock to houses, from children to staff, Show-Me grew and grew for the next 20 years. Each day began early with family prayer and devotions, then out the door to start chores before heading to school. The children were responsible for assisting Gale with the care of the animals, which included cows, chickens, and pigs. Karen worked with the girls throughout the day, cooked and cleaned, and spent late nights doing the book work and publicity.

Things were never easy, but God met them every step of the way. With limited resources, Show-Me tried to help as many kids as they could. Tight finances, uncertain futures, and dealing with kids during their “rough times” were facts of life. “The Lord is keeping it that way so we’ll never forget to totally depend on Him,” the Cullers would say.

Show-Me…Where Love Grows

Nevermore would that statement be personally tested than over the last 25 years of her life. The Cullers leaned heavily on the Lord through the loss of their only biological son, Troy, in a car crash. Karen would face the failing health of loved ones, Gale’s cancer and dementia, and finally her own battle with Lou Gehrig’s disease. He would be with her as two of her grandchildren and Gale, her dear husband of 54 years, preceded her in death. Through it all, Karen remained faithful.

In 2011, Gale and Karen passed the baton to the next generation, having established a six-home campus with a Christian School, ball stadium and office complex, as well as satellite homes across the state of Missouri. Over 50 children were raised in her home and thousands under her leadership. She remains endeared by the staff, community, children, and the childrens’ children, as well as everyone who knows her simply as Grandma Karen. Through their passion to meet the needs of hurting kids, the Cullers established an extensive network of support and provision of resources.

Ever faithful, Karen pressed on with the eternal work the Lord called her to do to make Show-Me a place “where love grows.”

By Show-Me Update|2022-04-18T15:09:50-05:00April 18th, 2022|Categories: Child's Story, Children, Events, Houseparent, Testimony|

Overcoming Obstacles in the Arena and in Life

“She’s a stubborn, bad horse!” a new Leadership U student muttered as he sat anxiously on his horse with tears in his eyes. “She won’t listen. I quit!”

Riding up, fifteen-year-old James,* encourages the new rider saying, “Don’t give up, you can do this. Yelling isn’t going to do anything. Show her how. You have to be the leader. You have to make a believer out of her!”

James knows. When he first got on a horse just like when he first came to Show-Me, he felt just as lost and hopeless. The unfamiliar setting left him feeling anxious, scared, and wanting to give up. Luckily, his Show-Me family helped encourage and guide him. Using many of the same techniques he is learning in the Leadership U program, James has been able to face and overcome obstacles of his past and prepare for the challenges of his future.

Achieving the Impossible

God provides the ultimate example of leadership in his son, Jesus. The best way to equip a young person to live as a successful, independent adult: teach them to lead like Jesus. To lead like Jesus, a leader must develop the heart and character to serve. Only then can trust be built that compels change, not demands it, and inspires other to follow.

Modeling this kind of leadership is at the heart of every aspect of Show-Me. “Leadership U is a practical, “incubator” where our young people can put to the test everything they learn in school, church, and counseling to develop confidence, leadership, and healthy relationship skills,” explains Director Chad Puckett. “It gets our kids out of their comfort zones and gives them opportunities to do things they never believed possible.”

The program teaches that the first objective to accomplish the “impossible” is to break it down into a series of smaller, achievable steps using the core principles of Leadership U. Service is the root of Christ-like leadership. Through actions, the leader signifies to the follower that “I am here for you, not me.” Next, the leader must equip themselves with the knowledge – basic information and skills – needed to complete the task. Persistently refining that knowledge day-by-day develops the work ethic, attitude, and character required to build confidence to lead through future challenges. Displaying that wisdom inspires the follower to believe in the leader’s ability.

New Insight Through New Roles

“Working with the animals opened the kids’ hearts to receive instruction,” stated Nathan Smith, the program’s creator and coordinator. “When they see how your advice makes the horse do things they never thought possible, they begin to trust and are willing to listen to what you have to say about horses, life, and even God.”

Leadership U’s hands-on model of training horses and dogs has been especially effective in helping at-risk children like James. Utilizing the emotional connection with animals provides a healing environment that lowers defensive barriers. The class’ physical activity gives a way to work out some energy. Seeing how the animals reflect his own emotions has made him more aware of his need to control his own. “I know that if I want my horse to be calm, I have to be calm,” James explained.

Being responsible for the animals, kids experience from the caregiver’s perspective the importance of obedience and discipline. These concepts take on a new understanding. When applied in their own life, rules and routines seem restrictive and controlling. Now, they understand them as necessary to reach one’s fullest potential.

Teenagers Have Horse Brains!?!

When you ask a teenager why they did something, they will likely say, “I don’t know…because I felt like it.” A teenager is a lot like a horse: impulsive, defiant, and emotional. Many times, they “feel” more than they “think.” Part of the reason stems from the make-up of their brains.

A human’s brain will not fully develop until they are 25-years-old. The prefrontal cortex is immature in a teenager; horses have none at all. This is the “thinking” part of the brain that performs reasoning, judgment, and impulse control functions. Until the brain fully matures, the teenage mind relies on the amygdala to make decisions and solve problems. This is the “emotional” part of the brain responsible for immediate “gut” reactions including fear and aggressive behavior. Horses have an extra-large amygdala to alert them and react to threats. When the amygdala is triggered, the brain shuts down its thinking side and immediately goes into “fight” or “flight” mode.

For children who have experienced trauma, this reflex is magnified. This is why direct approaches with teenagers rarely work and usually end in confrontation. The emotional bombardment either causes them to shut down or fight back verbally. They react emotionally, and do not think rationally.

This unconscious defense mechanism, combined with unresolved trauma from his past, created trouble at home and school for James. “If you challenged him, he would get defensive,” stated Jeff Eades, James’s housedad of five years. “He would always have an answer and it was never his fault.” Both parent and teen were left frustrated and nowhere closer to solving the problem. Using the understanding of the mind’s wiring, Leadership U uses a five-step process to learn how to overcome obstacles (see chart on left).

The Problem with Pages

James’s obstacle was his struggle with reading. School frustrations spilled over to anger and outbursts at home. In his head, he read over words so quickly that by the time he got to the end of the page, he had no clue what he was reading. If he didn’t know a word, he would come to halt. Both issues led him to act out to avoid feeling like a failure.

To help James, the Eades applied many of the steps of the Leadership U process. First, they made reading a positive thing, not just a school task. They had him read for fun in subjects that interested him. Second, they worked to reprogram his negative reaction to avoid reading by redirecting him. When he became restless and frustrated, they did not fight or argue. They had him get up and do something physical like walk the dog or go running. Getting that energy out helped him to focus. Third, they had him read out loud. Saying each word helped slow him down enough to hear and comprehend the story. Jeff remembers how the results could be seen by the size of James’s smile when he saw his reading test score. “100%! How is that possible!?!” James said proudly.

Trust Built on a History of Victories

James’s victory with reading has led to improvement in school and a reduction of fights at home. Yet, like all of us, he will face challenges in his future. Whether on a horse or in the classroom, or eventually in a job or a relationship, each obstacle he overcomes grows his confidence and makes the next obstacle seem less daunting. By “Learning to lead like Jesus,” James is learning to believe – in himself, his future, and God.

By Show-Me Update|2022-04-18T15:10:37-05:00November 26th, 2021|Categories: Child's Story, Houseparent|

A Love that Never Quits

The Miraculous Power of Second Chances

Dante knew something was missing in his life. Every waking moment he had been searching for it because he knew it was the critical piece he needed to fill the empty, painful void that tore at him inside. The void that reminded him of his pain, loneliness, and worthlessness. Watching from afar, he had seen glimpses of people who must have found it: the girl at school who never judged him because of the smell from his clothes, the genuine joy that he saw on the people coming out of the church across the street, and the families he saw laughing as they played at the park. Why could they find it and it remain so elusive to him?

He must be broken. Why else would a 15-year old that so many others called “extremely smart” be such a failure? It had to be the case. His parents abandoned him. Foster families couldn’t deal with him. Even the families that talked about God and His love for Dante still didn’t want him. It was the only reason that made sense to explain the events of his life. Why else could nobody love him?

Now, after they caught him again trying to run away, he found himself in the psychiatric hospital for the third time. Years of heartache, pain, confusion, and instability had driven him to the point where he could no longer find a purpose for life on earth. Then, news came. One hopeless young man would give life one last shot…

Six Months and “Good-bye”

Dante’s childhood was filled with instability. He was born to a mother who was addicted to drugs. Knowing she was unable to raise him, she tried to put him up for adoption. Unfortunately, the mandatory DNA test needed for the process brought into Dante’s life a danger she was desperately trying to keep out.

At the age of two, he and his younger brother were removed from her home and sent to live with their alcoholic, abusive father. Over the next five years, Dante stayed in numerous houses as his father was continually on the move outrunning authorities. Dante took on a parental role, trying to care for his little brother as best he could. At the age of seven, the law caught up and he was placed into foster care. Shuffled between homes, he usually never stayed in a place more than six months.

With each move, each rejection by those who said they cared and would love him, Dante withdrew more into himself. ‘Family’ and ‘love’ were just words, not real things.

“Each place just felt like another four walls,” Dante recounted. “There was no special relationship. I was not their child. Another mouth to feed so they could get a paycheck. Nobody loved or wanted me. Time after time, when I got to be too much to handle, the foster family would just get rid of me.”

Life had taught him that he could not trust others, only himself. That was fine. He would play their game and go through the motions until they were ready to throw him out. He stole food from the kitchen and hid it away in his room or backpack. He acted out, pushing people away before they could reject him. He did not want to interact with other kids at school, fearing that if they got too close they would see how broken and ugly he really was.

In 2009, eight-year-old Dante and his brother were ordered by the courts to live with a relative in Missouri. Things did not get better over the next seven years. Conflict, abuse, and chaos filled the house. As he grew in size and age, the lonely boy spilled over into a depressed and angry young man. Each day left Dante feeling more broken, out-of-control, and worthless. He had thoughts of ending his life and tried to run away multiple times. Counseling. Medications. Hospitalizations. Dante had tried it all and nothing seemed to help.

In 2016, his counselors reached out to Show-Me as a last hope. Even if Dante didn’t believe it, they had faith that this young life could be rescued and restored to a future of success if he had the right supportive environment and a loving family to guide him.

“My first impression [at Show-Me] was that it almost seemed fake because of how well I was treated,” recounts Dante. “I kept watching for the inconsistency. But, it never came. It was the exact same every day. Everyone showed me love and care in this entire community – from my house parents all the way down to the volunteers.”

One Last Chance…Again

The skeptical teen didn’t know how to react in this strange new setting, so he reverted to his self-sabotaging survival instincts: hoarding food, lying, arguing, and closing off. “I was not a pleasant kid,” admitted Dante. “I did a lot of dumb things. I had so much anger about my past. Most of all, I hated myself because I believed the inner voice that told me all the hurt in my life was my fault.”

Dante’s defiance escalated to more dangerous activities. Something had to change. “He was doing everything he could to try and force us to dismiss him,” said Rachel Reynolds, Children’s Services Director and long-time house mom. “But, we all felt like Show-Me could not give up on this kid. We had faith that we could still help him and knew he had nowhere else to go.” Believing a fresh environment could give him a clean slate, the difficult decision was made to have him join the Carman Family at the Drysdale Campus.

Quitting is Not an Option

Things didn’t magically change. “Dante was a difficult kid, but we committed to fight for him so he could have the love and stability everyone deserves,” the Carmans expressed. “The Lord put it on our hearts that giving up on Dante was not an option.”

Like most kids who grow up in chaotic homes, he tested boundaries trying to add instability in order to create a more familiar environment. The Carmans remained consistent: in the way they treated both their biological and Show-Me children, in how the rules were enforced, and in the love they showed.

Dante knew that he did not have to accept the Christian faith to be at Show-Me, but he did need to be respectful of it. Unknown to him at the time, God was planting seeds as he listened about God’s love while participating in family activities like daily devotions, church, and camp. “Before Show-Me, I knew of Jesus and His love, but I didn’t understand it because I had never had an example of it,” stated Dante. “It didn’t change the people who told me about it, so why should I want it.”

The Final Straw

The Son would bring those seeds to life at Dante’s lowest point. A few months into his stay with the Carmans, Dante forged a note and got on a bus prepared to run away. Fortunately, his attempt was derailed when the bus driver, a local youth minister who knew the Carmans, alerted the family. “I just knew this was going to be the final straw,” said Dante. “The moment their love would quit. Instead, they hugged me and told me that I had made a dumb choice, but it doesn’t mean that they love me any less.”

Something inside Dante changed in that moment. “I came to know the true love of God,” Dante stated. “Not just for others, but with the tough and constant love of my mom and dad, I experienced this love personally.”

Secure in that love, he began to embrace the opportunities surrounding him. The Show-Me school helped him catch up and graduate on time. Path to Purpose identified a college and career in precision machining that fit his personality and meticulous nature. The sports and the Leadership U programs grew his confidence. Most importantly, he realized that if others saw something in him to love, then maybe he wasn’t broken after all.

“The more I saw, learned, and felt that love from the Show-Me community, the more I wanted it for eternity, stated Dante. “I wanted that thing that allowed my parents to love me in a way that humans can’t.”

A Forever “Welcome Home”

With hard work and guidance, Dante turned his new found hope into a solid future. In 2018, Dante was baptized. In 2019, he graduated from high school. This spring, he received his college degree in Precision Machining Technology. Thanks to a summer internship, he had a full-time job waiting for him to start in May.

“It seems unreal at times, Dante said standing on the front porch of his house. “If I had not come to Show-Me, I am not honestly sure I would have a life. My second chance gave me more than I could ever repay. It gave everything: a new outlook on life, the family I always wanted, and a love that will never end.”

See more of Dante’s story here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq1f0SZlSnw&t=20s

By Show-Me Update|2021-07-01T11:04:13-05:00July 1st, 2021|Categories: Child's Story, Children, Houseparent, Path to Purpose|

Students Become the Teachers

The Fires & Refinement of the Class of 2021
How would you survive if you were bounced between 30 different foster care home or had dozens of siblings? Imagine being forced to go to a new country where no one speaks the only language you know. What would you do if you had the responsibility of caring for five children, all under the age of five years, without the most basic of resources? What if, in the blink of an eye, an accident causes you to suffer a near fatal brain injury that leaves the majority of its victims unable to ever speak or walk again? To any adult, these tasks would be daunting. To a child, they would seem impossible to overcome. For the Show-Me Christian School Class of 2021, these are challenges they have faced and came out victorious. Battles that have not broken them. Trials that have strengthened, refined, and inspired them to set out on a mission that God has uniquely designed each to complete.

From a Junker to God’s Classic

For most of his life, Michael thought of himself as a junker car that was ugly, dented, and unwanted. Born to drug-addicted parents, Michael bounced between 30 different foster homes before he was adopted at the age of 5. He acted out trying to be “cute” as he desperately worked to earn his new parents’ affection. His “cuteness” may have gotten him noticed as little child in the foster homes, but his antics created more negative effects as he got older. At school, kids would pick on the childish, short, skinny kid who was always trying to get the teacher’s attention. The bullying made him afraid to talk to other kids or make friends. It led to a vicious cycle of problems and isolation. Michael struggled in school, each year falling further behind. For eight years, Michael constantly worried that his adopted family might not want him either. Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, Michael would lie, telling the adults what he thought they wanted to hear. As he got older, his sadness boiled over into anger, then depression. Feeling lost and without purpose, he tried to take his life in 5th grade. His parents felt helpless. If the years of counseling and trying everything they knew didn’t help, what else could they do? Someone told them about Show-Me in 2014. They realized that the structured daily routine, positive Christian atmosphere, and one-on-one teaching style was an environment in which
Michael could thrive. “I thought it was going to be a vacation from home – boy was I wrong” Michael laughed. “It isn’t easy, but Show-Me is a fresh start for us kids coming here.”

When 13-year-old Michael sat down for lunch on his first day, he realized there was something different about this place. Miguell, an older 8th grader, sat next to him and started to talk with him. Michael didn’t have to do or say anything to earn his friendship, this guy wanted to be his friend. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel lost or alone. Over the next few years, Michael learned to accept the love of family. Focusing on his studies and with extra help, he caught up in school. He discovered his mechanical gifts and learned the value of hard work by assisting his houseparents with hands-on projects – gifts he hopes one day to use in his own automotive shop. The biggest change came the day he heard Pastor Alan talk about what Christ’s sacrifice meant. It not only showed God’s love for us, but it was proof that each of our lives have purpose.

Trusting in that love and believing for the first time that his life truly did have purpose, Michael asked to be baptized. Michael no longer worries about earning God’s love or being wanted. He knows that he is a child of the King of Kings. In his senior devotion message this March, Michael used the illustrations of cars to explain to his classmates how God rescues and restores each of our lives. Michael knows that he
is not the worthless junk car he once believed he was. He is a classic Mustang that God is in the process of restoring.

Hope in Hidden Answers

Ever think having a brother or sister can be a lot to deal with, try having 42! Sadie has been a part of Show-Me all 18 years of her life. Never the oldest and rarely the youngest, she learned to be very observant, keep calm, and find organization in chaos. The details of each siblings story’s may be different, but all share a common factor – they are children caught in the crossfire of struggling families. They are broken lives who don’t understand how or why they ended up in this situation. Many are angry because so much is out of their control and fearful their life is destined to turn out like their parents. Sadie saw that the thing her brothers and sisters were really searching for was hope: hope for their future found in answers from their past. It is that hope that compels Sadie to seek a career in criminal justice. “The love, loss, and hope I’ve learned and gone through has taught me to want to fight for hope for others,” stated Sadie. “Working for a federal crime fighting agency, my wish is to give hope to the families and loved ones of the victim by finding answers, solving cases, and preventing the suspect from
destroying more lives.”

Failure Leads to Success

When Jonas arrived in Missouri to meet his adoptive parents, he could only speak and read in his native Ethiopian language of Amharic. Communication was a great challenge since no one else around him could speak it. Without words, how could he let people know how he was feeling or what he needed? Even though over the next few years he would learn English, his difficulty in communicating snowballed into more problems. Jonas began his education three grades behind. The language barrier made
learning extremely slow and frustrating. Despite putting in many extra hours of work, Jonas fell more and more behind in school. His inability to communicate left him feeling angry and alone. He began to believe the lies in his head that he was a disappointment to everyone, he would never be good enough, and he could only count on himself for help. His anger grew more out of control each year, even to the point where he needed to be physically restrained to calm down. Finally, realizing Jonas needed more help than they could give him at home, his parents reached out to Show-Me. The new environment was good for Jonas. The individualized school program allowed him to go at his own pace. The smaller
class sizes and additional help from his teachers gave him the means to understand. He finally had the tools he needed to catch up in school and graduate. Yet, if you ask Jonas what led to his success the most, he will tell you it’s “failure.” In his endless failed attempts to be “good enough,” he realized that no matter how much he accomplished or how many people liked him, he was never going to be worthy in everyone’s eyes. It is an impossible task to achieve. “Nothing matters except how God sees you,” realized Jonas. “God loves us for who we are, not what we accomplish or what we have. If God considered me – flaws and all – worthy, maybe I could, too.” Jonas began listening and trusting the people that God
was sending to help him. In failing on his own, He learned success could be found in trusting God and the community of support He sends for guidance.

A Rough Start for a Greater Cause

Ana never really had a childhood. The oldest of five siblings, Ana became the caretaker early on while her mother was out. There was no time to think about what Ana wanted or how Ana felt, she had a job to do. Her siblings needed her. That all changed in 2010. Two ladies from a Vacation Bible School told her mom about Show-Me. The next thing seven year-old Ana knew, she and her five younger siblings were
living at Show-Me. Her old job was taken away. Her new job was to be a kid. “I was overwhelmed because I didn’t know what to do since they didn’t want me taking care of my siblings,” Ana recounts.
Over the next few years, Ana saw how God had always been watching out for her. She remembered how an unexpected- person seemed to pop into their lives at just the right time when they needed food, a place to stay, or some other kind of help. She realized how God had protected them from the bad people
finding them.

Seeing that the God of the Bible, who was always there for His people, was the same one in her life, Ana accepted Christ. “Jesus used my bad life for a greater cause: my growing and maturing in Him (my Savior),” Ana stated. “Jesus led, not by forcing others to follow, but by being the model that made others choose to follow.” Desiring to be that positive role model, Ana heads this fall to college to become a social worker. She hopes to shows young people, who look like her, that they can beat the odds, too. “I want kids, who feel broken like I did, to see that they can overcome their past,” Ana said. “They can find another way to succeed, and not become the statistics society says they will be.”

Focus on God Can, Not “I Can’t”

Brendan’s life changed in a instant that day in 2016. Playing tag, he ran into a volleyball net, which caught him by the face and slammed his head against the hard floor causing his skull to fracture. He was life-flighted to Children’s Mercy Hospital. The doctor’s warned his traumatic brain injury (TBI) might
cause him to never be able to see, walk, or talk again. His only chance was to have an emergency surgery to remove the blood clot on his brain and put in two titanium plates. Over the following months, the physical pain slowly decreased but the emotional struggles increased. To give his brain a chance to heal, the doctors told him he had to eliminate most physical activity for the next two years. Thinking about all
the things he could no longer do made Brendan become more and more depressed. How could God let this happen? Maybe he should just give up and accept that he could no longer ever have a “normal” life as an independent adult.

Then, Brendan made a decision. He would not give up! He would focus on what he could control and trust God to take care of the rest. Philippians 4:13 became his life verse. Brendan might not be able to do certain things, but through Christ’s strength, he could do what God wanted him to do. He focused on his school work and strengthening his muscles a little every day. Over the next four years, Brendan’s dedication and faith revealed a bigger picture that he had once missed. In rehab, he saw other young men, who had suffered TBI injuries. These men could not talk, walk, or do basic life functions. Seeing Brendan and the progress he was making gave these men hope. Those men helped Brendan realize that God didn’t abandon him in his injury. He shielded him, sent people to encourage him, and be with him
through every step. Instead of being upset about what he couldn’t do, Brendan is now grateful for all
the things that he can do.

Choosing the Refiner’s Fire

A few years ago, the members of the Class of 2021 might have written their life’s stories a little
different if they had the choice. Now, they are grateful for each moment of their testimony. In the
refiner’s fire their eyes were opened. In the flames they saw how they are not alone. God was and will
always be there with them through every step. He uses experiences the world wants us to believe
can only destroy a life to strengthen and refine His children into the change agents He will use to
transform for good their families, communities, and world. As the Class of 2021 has shown, we
only need to be brave enough to trust Him and the work He is doing.

By Show-Me Update|2021-06-16T17:16:41-05:00May 31st, 2021|Categories: Child's Story, Children, Events, Teen, Testimony|

Character Above Championships

Developing the Foundation for Lifelong Victories

Winning will never be the goal of the Show-Me Christian School Athletic program. Angel teams have reached the heights of state championships and the lows of finishing a season without a single win. Yet, every year, players achieve priceless victories.

Sports provide many benefits to any child; for a child growing up at Show-Me, it can be the catalyst to victory over issues they struggle with in school, at home, or in their adult life.

An Ideal Training Ground for Life

Athletic participation breeds success where traditional methods fall short: motivating a child, understanding abstract concepts, and seeing the results of perseverance. As one housedad explained, “My teenage daughter gets frustrated because she can’t always see the gradual growth she is making in her life. Sports gives her a measurable way to see the progress. When she first arrived, she couldn’t dribble a basketball. Now, she is a starting player on the varsity team.”

The structure of team practice and coaching mimics Show-Me’s family model of restoration. At home, the child may still unconsciously revert to emotional barriers to protect themselves. On the court, the player is more open to listen to the coach’s instruction because there is no negative past to overcome.

Sports directly addresses many of the root problems caused by their previous environment. Exercise is a natural way to reduce anxiety and depression. Working out daily, kids eat and sleep better. This leads to better memory and improved concentration. Physical activity provides a child a safe outlet to let out their anger or energy.

Being part of a team gives young people an edge over their peers in areas beyond physical health. Through the discipline of practice, they develop lifelong skills of self-control, responsibility, goal-setting, and time-management. Working with teammates forces them to communicate, trust others, and learn to control their emotions. Each player brings a different value to the team. But, for the team to reach its full potential, each individual must know and do his or her part. Following the guidance of coaches, all players must move in the same direction, toward the same goal.

Games provide a snapshot of the unfair, competitive adult world they will face. Referees will miss a call, people will foul, and they will sometimes miss a shot or fail. Sports is another opportunity for Show-Me to coach and walk our young people through the numerous kinds of challenges all adults must navigate. By experiencing them now, they can safely fail and learn how to overcome them, rather than have them derail their life as they face them alone as an adult.

The Spark To Ignite a Life of Success

Academics, athletics, and the arts are the places most kids first discover they have talents. Once they realize success in one area of their life, it flows into all areas. That first discovery is critical in developing self-confidence and the courage to try new things.

“Before coming to Show-Me, the only place that most of our kids can find these opportunities is at home or in school,” stated Director Chad Puckett. “Unfortunately, there is little chance finding it at home because of the dysfunction. If a child does not find it in academics, they can feel they have no value.”

Part of the restoration process is ensuring each child knows they have value and God-given gifts. The school offers programs in music, arts, drama, and sports to provide avenues of discovery.

For many, Show-Me is the only chance they have to be part of a sports team. Most kids arrive at Show-Me never having played on a team and without basic skills. Although not mandatory, every child is encouraged to participate in sports and join a team starting in 5th grade.

The sports program has evolved over the decades from pick-up games on the front lawn to informally arranged matches with other small schools. Uniforms consisted of whatever resources could be found. Names and numbers were ironed on to donated jerseys. Games were held at other local schools’ fields or at the Show-Me multi on a hard linoleum floor marked with tape.

In 2015, Show-Me joined the Missouri Christian School Athletic Association (MCSAA). The Angels now compete in a 16-game schedule against six other Christian schools in the MOKAN conference. A state tournament is held at the end of each season in Joplin, MO, to determine the state champion and give out awards.

Transforming Losers Into Champions

Championships once only seemed a dream in 2016. Across every sport, each team has finished their inaugural season with a losing record. The girls volleyball team did not win a single game their first season. Yet, as one player encouraged her coach at the end of season, “winning does not matter compared to the things we have been through in life.”

In fact, losing may be the best thing that could have happened. “You learn a lot more from losing than winning,” stated Director Chad Puckett. “You find out who you are and what you value.”

The experience united and motivated the girls. Many of the older players took on leadership roles and began mentoring their younger teammates. The players used any extra moment they could to practice including during their school breaks. Their determination was rewarded as each season they won more and more games. In 2019, the girls team saw their dream become a reality when they won the state championship in volleyball.

The secret to their success didn’t lie in their individual skills, but in the bond of their team. The more the team played as one, the better the results on the scoreboard. The attitude of one player could build or break that bond.

“Our coaches taught us that we have to be intentional in our encouragement,” stated Sadie, a senior on the team. “This experience has the potential to shape and mold us in either a positive or negative way. We determine if we are going to waste it or use it to turn us into something beautiful. We are going to work hard either way.”

Having an attitude of encouragement has been a hallmark of Show-Me sports. Numerous times since joining the MCSAA, Show-Me has won the MOKAN Conference Sportsmanship award, given to the team whose players have most reflected Christ-like attitude and character both on and off the court.

Angel Pride

The growth of the sports programs not only has impacted the players, but it has become a focal point of pride and motivation for the bigger Show-Me community. “Kids do not always take pride in academics, but they do in sports and for their team,” stated R.J. Bachtold, a teacher at the school and Show-Me Athletic Director. “You can see that sense of pride in the students as they walk past the Angels logo going from their locker to their classroom.”

The benefits of their athletic experience will remain long after they have taken off their Angels jersey for the last time. The challenges they face as adults will not be so daunting as they remember that with hard work, practice, coaching, and a team of support surrounding them, that victory is possible!

By Emilee Parton|2021-01-31T13:00:04-06:00January 31st, 2021|Categories: Child's Story, Children, Sports, Teen|

Coming Home

Transforming Strangers into Family

Winter is coming! December may not yet be here, but the signs are clear: leaves are changing colors, kids are practicing their songs, and housedad, Ken Parton, has already begun decorating for Christmas. Preparations are in full swing to welcome “home” all of our past and present Show-Me family for the holidays.

This year has special significance for the Parton family. It will be the first time their “bigger family” will gather at their new residence, the newly-completed House #7. They know that not all of the 32 kids who have joined the Parton family over their eight years at Show-Me will make it. Those that do will be welcomed to find their personalized stocking hung, their hand-made ornaments proudly displayed on the tree, presents ready to be traded at the gift exchange, and the traditional family games set out just waiting for the laughter to begin.

Houseparents, Ken and Emilee Parton, may not be their biological parents, but they are family. This may not be the house they grew up in, but it is home because the love of their family is here. God has used that unconditional love to heal and bond this group of strangers into a family.

A Prayer for a “Bigger Family”

The Partons’ life took a very different path from the one they envisioned twenty-five years ago when they married. After attending Nebraska Christian College, they worked their way up the management chain to both have lucrative careers: Ken becoming a district supervisor of a national restaurant chain, and Emilee starting her own business.

They actively served in their church: Ken working with the youth, Emilee organizing bigger events, and both leading the worship team. Their business backgrounds laid the foundation for the church to open a food and clothing pantry. To outsiders, they were living the American picture of success.

Under the rosy façade, things were far from perfect. They knew that God had a greater mission planned for them, but what? For years, the couple had struggled to grow their family. In 2003, they lost their son, Brock, at birth. A year later they suffered a miscarriage. In 2008, the birth of their daughter, Sophia, seemed to be the beginning of the answer they longed for. Two years later, their prayer would be for a second child. Over time, it changed to adopting a child. Eventually, it simply became “Lord, please give us a bigger family.”

The Partons prayed for guidance and began to look at different options for their life. “We knew we weren’t where we were supposed to be anymore,” Emilee recounts. “We hadn’t quite figured out what or where we were supposed to be.” A few months later that answer would come when Chad Puckett, the Director of Show-Me, spoke at their church and stated that the ministry was in search of new houseparents. As Emilee explained, “in my prayer for direction, I realized that God was going to answer with Show-Me… not quite what I imagined, but we definitely have a bigger family now!”

Trading a Job for a Mission

Stepping out in faith in 2012, the Partons moved to the main Show-Me campus in La Monte, Missouri. From the get-go, they quickly learned that serving as a houseparent is not a job, it is a life. There is very little downtime as kids’ needs do not distinguish personal time and business time. A typical week is similar to most parents: cooking, cleaning, appointments, school, games, church, etc. Just at Show-Me, each family is trying to coordinate up to ten people, all going in different directions. Add to that coordinating volunteer groups, teaching at the school, refereeing basketball games, coaching, leading worship at chapel, and organizing major events for Show-Me. Added together, you might get an idea of what the Parton’s life is like.

As chaotic as schedules can be, the bigger challenge is building a relationship of trust with each child. Without it, the child will never be willing to accept the resources and help they need.

A New Definition of Family

Most of their kids have come from situations that have led them to believe that they only have themselves to rely on. They have been let down too many times in the past by the family that was supposed to take care of them. “I always struggled with letting people love me and accepting that love from others,” recounted Grace, a child who once lived with the Partons. “I had felt so rejected for so long, I truly believed I wasn’t able to be loved. I was never going to have my picture perfect family.”

Although each child is immediately welcomed, it will take time before they consider themselves part of the Parton family. The Parton’s first step is to meet each new child where they are at, not force them to be part of the family until they choose to be. From the moment they first arrive, Ken explains, “We are Ken and Emilee. We are not trying to replace your parents, we know that we never can. But, our home is your home. Here, all your needs are going to be taken care of.”

It will take weeks and months for the protective walls to slowly be lowered as the child sees the proof in actions. Their fear is that because they are not part of the biological family they will only be accepted and loved up to a certain point. “Our fear stops us from healing,” Journey, an adult who once lived with the Partons explains. “In the back of your mind you are always wondering when will this love stop.”

They wonder: “Do you love me because it is your job or because you really want me?” Knowing this, the Partons are very intentional about treating all their kids the same. It is the little things that make the biggest difference in building trust and making each child feel valued as an individual. This is made especially evident during the holidays.

Building Bonds Around a Tree

Many of the kids at Show-Me do not go to their biological homes for holiday breaks because the situation is still not healthy for them. The kids in the Parton home would travel with Ken, Emilee, and Sophia to Tennessee for Christmas with Ken’s parents. Grandma and Grandpa Parton welcomed them with open arms and spoiled all the children equally.

From the presents under the tree to the stockings customized for each child, Ken and Emilee make every effort to let no favortism show. Together, they play charades, open chocolate advent calendars, and worship as a family on Christmas Eve.

“It made me really feel like I was a part of the family,” remembers Destin. “Growing up in foster care, I lived with people, but it was not family. I was their kid as long as it was convenient. When it became too much of a burden or cost, then off to another home I go.”

The Promise of Christmas

Today, many of those same kids, who piled in the minivan to drive to Tennessee, now live across the country as adults. They may each have different last names, but they are family. “I never would have imagined that my family would turn out being just a group of random people that happened to be needing a family just like me,” stated Grace. “It’s super cool to think about the fact that we all wanted the same thing: a family, and so we just became each other’s family.”

That Parton family only continues to grow, now welcoming grandchildren to its fold. This Christmas, they will travel across the country to come “home” and be with their family in Missouri at the newly finished House #7. The older children will make sure that the family traditions are carried on for the next generation. Grandma will bring the special treats and Emilee makes sure all the favorite foods are prepared. For the Parton children, it is a reminder of Ken and Emilee’s promise to them that they never need to feel alone because you will always have a home and family ready to welcome you.

By Show-Me Update|2020-11-13T22:12:53-06:00November 13th, 2020|Categories: Child's Story, Children, Houseparent, Testimony|

When There is No One Else

Discovering Her Inner Strength

“I never believed this day would happen,” Amanda stated. “Most of my life, graduation felt like an impossible dream.” Her diploma symbolized more than just completing high school, it was the reassurance that her fear would NOT come true. Unlike what she was told growing up, she would not end up like her mom, who as a young teen became pregnant with her and dropped out of school.

With the support of her Show-Me family, she is on a path to get her CNA certificate in order to serve the elderly and help children like she once was – in need of a little extra attention to reach their God-given potential. “I never would have gotten here if it wasn’t for Show-Me,” she explained. “The school allowed me to catch up to where I needed to be and the teachers were always there to push me to strive and accomplish my goals!”

School Sets The Stage for Life
Growing up, Amanda called many places home. She attended numerous schools as she bounced from family to family. Moving so often made it hard to trust others, build healthy relationships, or keep up with her peers in school. Math was especially difficult for her.

She was placed in special education classes to try to help. Although only behind in math, being labeled a “Special Ed” kid made her believe she was an overall failure with little hope for a future. These feelings ate at her self-esteem leading her to increasingly become isolated, which made her more vulnerable to negative influences in her life. Things came to a boiling point in 2015. Soon after, she soon came to Show-Me.

Uncommon Solutions to Common Problems
Life didn’t magically get better when she arrived and joined the Watkins family. “At that point, I didn’t have much hope for myself,” Amanda said. “I didn’t care for anything.”

Despite having been in the 7th grade, she was at a 3rd grade level in Math and English. She was behind multiple grades in the rest of her subjects. Her situation was a familiar one to Show-Me, where it is not uncommon for the kids that find their way here to be four grade-levels behind where they should be. The battles that they face at home make keeping up with the rest of their class a struggle. Public schools do not always have the necessary resources or time to give the extra attention needed to help them catch up. Feelings of failure, depression, frustration, and anger can arise if the cycle continues and the gap widens.

In 2000, after being forced to dismiss too many children because they were suspended from the public school, Show-Me created a private, Christian school option to try and overcome some of the unmet challenges. Using the Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) Program, each student is evaluated subject-by-subject to create their own academic path to complete their studies. Students learn at their own pace while working to reach daily goals. This approach empowers students to own their education and success. Many kids who were falling behind in their former schools are able to catch up and graduate high school on time.

The ACE program identified the subject concepts that Amanda missed. She began to show progress and pass her subjects as she followed a targeted approach using PACEs, the ACE program’s bite-sized workbooks designed for self-instructional thinking skills and the mastery of a subject. Whether at home or in class, there was always someone available to help her understand when she got stuck or confused since many of the houseparents also worked in the school.

The Show-Me Christian School (SMCS) went beyond helping her in core subjects like math, English, literature, science, and social studies. Interwoven into each lesson was a Christian world view with Scripture and one of 72 Biblical character traits – all designed to help develop moral character, a sense of accountability, and wisdom in her life. It was changing the way she thought of herself. “Here we are all the same, nobody looks at you different. For the first time, I never felt rushed or uncared for,” stated Amanda. “Having the freedom to go at my own speed made me want to try harder. I found an inner strength I didn’t know I had.”

Finding Her Stride
She discovered a number of talents and interests by participating in extra-curricular activities. She sang as part of the praise team for the weekly chapel services. Being around the animals in Leadership U (LU) provided safe emotional connections. “Horses and dogs don’t judge you, they are really good listeners,” she joked. She found that the concepts taught in LU applied to her life, too. “To accomplish my goals, I needed to calm down, have confidence, try harder, and above all never give up,” stated Amanda.

That same determination would carry over to success in sports. Amanda gained confidence as she played volleyball, basketball, and was part of the team that took first place in track at state. “There, I forget about everything else,” she said. “To play well, you can’t let doubt and fear follow you on the court.” She was named to the MOKAN all-conference second team in basketball and took top state honors in volleyball. But, her teammates were her biggest motivational factor. “If I wanted to play, I knew I had to find a way to do well in class,” she recounted. “I couldn’t let my team down.”

In the Path to Purpose Program, she learned key life skills like how to make a budget from the Dave Ramsey’s financial courses and how to drive. Job shadowing at local hospitals confirmed that she wanted to be a nurse and work with the elderly or kids with special needs.

Taking on a New Identity in Christ
Slowly, but surely, becoming an adult didn’t seem so scary when she realized that she was a part of God’s bigger family. At the age of 19, she decided to make the change official when she changed her name and asked to be adopted by the Watkins family. “My parents helped me succeed by believing in me, not giving up (even though at times I thought they would), and showing me how to love and be part of a family,” Amanda said. “I’ve learned that when there seems to be no one else, there is always God to rely on.”